On a Rainy Monday...

My Summer Vacation

I remember as a young boy, every school year started with the same ridiculous assignment. "Class, let's write a one page essay on what we did or learned this summer."  This assignment always drove me nuts because A.  It was my time. If I had wanted to share it with any of y'all, I would have. B. If I knew there was going to be a quiz, I'd have taken notes all gd summer, and C.  It was SUMMER. I was supposed to be doing and learning NOTHING to begin with.

However,

At the ripe ol' age of 38, I had a summer where I finally did learn some things about myself. Some good, some bad, some ugly. This Clint Eastwood summer showed me strengths I never knew I had, weaknesses I need to fix, love that I never thought possible, and sadness that would bring me to my darkest places. 

So without further adieu, I give you my summer in a nutshell:

• I loved and lost
• I learned that my beautiful daughter is a closet Guns n Roses fan and knows every word of "Sweet Child of Mine"
• I learned that I'm strong enough to bash in the skull of dying deer after clipping it with my car.
• I learned that I'm not strong enough to bash in skull of said deer without throwing up for 10 minutes after.
• I learned that pride and stubbornness can make me say some pretty nasty things to people I love.
• I learned that you really realize who's important to you in that nanosecond before you're in a violent car wreck.
• I learned that I can love someone enough to walk away.
• I learned that I don't even have a fraction of the handle on my depression as I thought.
• I learned that my ex-wife is an absolutely horrible person and I feel like a fool for giving her 7 years of "benefit of the doubt".
• I learned that I'm a good father, but I have a long way to go there as well.

And sure, there were myriad other things I learned and did along the way this summer, but these were just a few that stuck out, and I guess the important thing is I am in fact learning.  Hell, I've pretty much got valedictorian locked up for the "School of Hard Knocks" from so much learning.  Which reminds me, I should probably be getting back to class...